


Breathe, Breathe in the Air

by pantheon_of_discord



Series: Season 13 Codas [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Episode: s13e06 Tombstone, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, M/M, but that ending was kind of a mood killer, guys I planned on smutty cowboy sex here I truly did, poor jack :'(, so have some tearful kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 12:58:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12748782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pantheon_of_discord/pseuds/pantheon_of_discord
Summary: Dean’s been holding his breath for two whole days. At first it was a buoy, but now it’s asphyxiation.





	Breathe, Breathe in the Air

Dean doesn’t bother waiting for the shower to get hot, he just steps into the spray. He stands with his head bowed, as the cool water sluices layer upon layer of grave dirt down the drain.

The water turns warm, then hot, and he rests his forehead on the smooth tile and waits for the tension to leave his shoulders.

It doesn’t.

He pulls in a long, deep breath, and waits for his head to clear, for oxygen to fill his lungs.

It doesn’t.

He leans away from the wall and grabs his shampoo.

Dean’s been holding his breath for two whole days. At first it was a buoy, but now it’s asphyxiation.

Jack flapped off ( _for their own good_ – typical; kid’s more like Cas every day), Sam started pacing the war room and dragging his hands through his hair, and Cas. . .

Cas had reached down and pulled Dean up off the ground, and there was _lightning_ in the air the instant their fingers touched. Their eyes had caught and held and for one tiny, electrifying second Dean was breathing again.

Cas felt it – he _had_ to have felt it – but there’s no time for it. There’s never time for it. The moment had ended and they’re off again, pulling out laptops to scan for freak storms or mysterious accidents or reports of teenagers with glowing eyes.

The water’s too hot now, and it’s turning Dean’s skin pink. Rinsing the last suds from his hair, he reaches out blindly to crank the dial back down. Maybe cold is what he needs right now.

No. He knows what he needs right now.

He turns the dial all the way off and grabs his towel.

They’ve got work to do. There’s everything with Jack now because of _course_ there is; there’s always something. There’s always _going_ to be something. Because that’s who they are. 

They don’t get quiet, peaceful moments. Not unless they make them for themselves.

Dean slips into sweatpants and a clean t-shirt and heads back to the war room. Sam is sitting at the table, his laptop open and his face buried in his hands.

He looks up at the sound of Dean’s padding footsteps. “Nothing yet.”

Dean nods. “Cas?”

Sam inclines his head toward the hall. “His room.”

Nodding again, Dean turns back the way he came.

He knocks once, gently, on Cas’ door, then pushes it open.

Cas is sitting on the side of his bed, feet planted firm on the ground. He’s leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees with his fingers at his temples. His eyes are closed, but they flicker open when Dean shuts the door behind himself.

“Dean, I’m trying to find him. I thought maybe I’d be able to hear him with angel radio, but I’m not having any luck so far.” His eyes flutter closed again, his brow furrowing in concentration.

Dean doesn’t answer, merely moves up to the edge of the bed. Shaking, light-headed, he drops to his knees, leans in close, and kisses him.

It’s the moment you finally breach the surface, after you’ve been underwater so long your whole chest is burning. Cas is like oxygen.

He makes a startled sound and moves his hands from his temples, but Dean quickly replaces them with his own, the tips of his fingers edging into Cas’ hair. 

Cas breaks away on a small gasp. “What are you doing?”

“I’m kissing you,” Dean says quietly, then inches back in and draws their mouths together again. He needs to breathe.

“W-why?” Cas asks, panting, like he needs air too.

Dean leans in again but doesn’t kiss him. Instead he just _breathes_ , lets the warm air mingle in the tiny space between their mouths. “Because you died, and I almost went after you, Cas.” As Dean speaks, their lips catch. “I couldn’t do it. I damn near died without you.”

“ _Dean_.” Cas’ voice is broken and he’s gasping. His hands finally settle on Dean’s cheeks, and his thumbs wipe through tears Dean didn’t notice had fallen.

Ignoring them, Dean closes the distance again. Cas kisses back this time, softly and so, so gently.

Pulling away on a shaky sob, Dean draws one thumb over the well of Cas’ lip. “Because you were dead. Because you could die again tomorrow, or I could. Because this is the first moment since you’ve been back that I can _breathe_ , Cas.”

Cas nods, pulling Dean in close. “There’s still so much – I mean, Jack, and Lucifer –”

“Later,” Dean whispers, hands dropping to the lapels of Cas’ coat. “All that’s for later. Right now, it’s just us.”

“Alright,” Cas whispers back, air ghosting across Dean’s lips. “Just us.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading darlings!
> 
> Come be my friend on [tumblr.](https://pantheonofdiscord.tumblr.com)


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